Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Inadvertant cold cures

I was home later last night after a meeting so rather than eating with the little Brinksters we put them to bed as usual and then Mrs Brinkster and myself took a couple of cod fillets and weaved our particular brand of magic on them. Never slaves to the recipe book, which suggested "a pinch of chilli flakes", we decided to put a whole chilli in there and while I was thinking a little one Mrs Brinkster produced a rather large red one. Not being one to argue I cut it in half and removed the seeds with my fingers, which is where it all started to go wrong. Having had a cold since Saturday morning I could discern an approaching sneeze so I retrieved a tissue from my pocket and soon discovered an interesting fact, which is that tissues are a better barrier for germs than they are for chilli 'juice'. It took only a few moments to discover this interesting fact and I then proceeded to hop around the kitchen, nostrils aflame, for several minutes but I realised that thoroughly washing my hands wasn't going to undo the damage and I didn't fancy squirting water up my nose either so I endured the strangely painful situation throughout the rest of the evening.

Coincidentally my cold's a lot better this morning.

Did I tell you about the time I went to the toilet just after applying "Deep Heat" rub?


Downwind of the Cock said...

That sounds very nasty. I once drunkenly ordered my Nandos chicken hot and also demanded Peri-Peri dust be liberally sprinkled on my fries as well. When I got home I started to tuck in but somehow got the Peri-Peri dust up my nostrils, an unusually efficient method of delivering pain I found. There's no real way to get it out is there? You just have to white knuckle it, luckily in my case I only needed another glass of vino to knock me out for the night.

When I worked in the print we had the opportunity to bang out one of our apprentices, this practice has been outlawed by H&S (some say it was just pure humanity that did it really) now but atthe time it was basically no-holds barred in what we could do to the poor fella after we tied him up in the street. One good way of catching them out was to sabotage the spare clothes they had to bring in (which were always hidden or locked away), so after they had survived the barrage of ink, chemicals, separated milk, eggs, offal from Smithfields, 3 month old sandwiches and teabags, had a shower and were looking forward to going to the pub for the afternoon they found their clothes cut up into ribbons etc. We got one young bloke with chilli powder in his spare undercrackers, he wasn't very happy about that!

Anonymous said...

Fiberglass on loo roll is always a good one

NS said...

Anonymous -- ouch! Remind me not to use the loo at your place. Not that I know where you live or anything...

My husband did something similar, Brinkster, but it involved chilies and contact lenses.

MangyParrot said...

Chilli sauce in the eye persuaded me that drunken kebabs and hayfever don't mix!

Oh and milk works a lot better than water for getting rid of chilli pain!

Chris said...

My cousin (who had a cold at the time) went to the loo in a pub and as usual the ladies had no loo paper. So she looked in her bag for a tissue and realised (- too late!) that she had put Olbas Oil on it!!! I leave the rest to your imagination!

It was hilarious watching her try to wash it off in the wash hand basin too!