Some of you may not be aware that we've had a fine athlete in our midst for years who, having been born and bred in Worcester Park, followed the path of True Love™ to Cobham earlier this year.
Worcester Park Life.
In the meantime for those who need a chuckle here are a few credit crunch jokes:
Q: How do you define optimism?
A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.
Q: Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari.
A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: 'What's the hold-up?' The policeman replies: 'The Prime Minister is so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. 'He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we're taking up a collection for him.' The lobbyist asks: 'How much have you got so far?' The officer replies: 'About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.'
Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.
Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything?
A: A Quarter-pounder with fries, please.
Overheard in a City bar: 'This credit crunch is worse than a divorce... I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.'
The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped: 'insufficient funds.'
Is it them or me?
A man had an account with RBS and went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'